She's doing a Mary Poppins (her own words) and staying as long as she is needed, or until the wind changes. She'll be dividing her time between our house, our parents' place and some friends.
Unsurprisingly, my mental health has been steadily improving since she arrived last week. It's only been a few days, but my shoulders have mostly retreated from their accustomed position up near my ears and returned to their natural resting place.
The mess that is my mind has been settling as I am able to talk thinks out with someone with whom I share not only a history and genes, but a whole belief system. Mostly. We've both been on similar spiritual and emotional journeys and have arrived at very similar places.
It's really hard to explain your beliefs about life, the universe and everything to someone who hasn't been there with you for the ride, or who hasn't experienced it in parallel to you.
My sister and I can sometimes get to a point where we can finish each other's sentences and speak the same "language" when it comes to how we believe the world works.
This doesn't mean we agree on everything - that would be boring. Our journeys are continuing, our life experiences have been different and there is fourteen years between us.
It's a relief to have another adult in the house.
A relief to find the washing hung out and brought it.
A relief to have a meal made for you.
A relief to have some one else deal with bedtime shenanigans.
A relief to have another, more peaceful energy around.
Someone to calm the perpetual tension that we seem to live in.
Someone to help and motivate me to declutter.
Someone to show the kids how to sprout mung beans - I know!
Yet, the biggest gift has been a chance to remember myself. To remember who I am, what I believe, what I know. To take myself back to a time when I began making changes in my life. To a time BEFORE.
A time when I believed in myself. A time when I knew that I was enough. A time before I grew the barriers, which are now stopping me from being who I am meant to be.
Synchronicity is now evident in my life, as other people are appearing who can see these barriers and who can help me bring them down.
I know that I am fully responsible for myself, for my thinking, for my well-being, but having the right people around me creates a supportive, rather than a hostile, environment for doing it my way.
What about you? Who are the people in your life that help you to remember who you are?
***************
If you'd like to see your logo here for the next 3 or 6 months check out my sponsorship packages for the Digital Parents Conference 2012:
Awwww, shucks sister dear, what a lovely post, thank you so much. :) It's an absolute pleasure for me to be here right now and be sharing time and energy with you. My time in India really helped me to understand how important family is and really cemented for me how to properly give to myself so that I can give to others unconditionally (without feeling too drained or resentful) - finally the giving itself is its own reward (as it 'should' be). So many things are much clearer for me now and it's so wonderful to see you relaxing and coming to clarity yourself. It's also a joy to spend time with your little men and see who they are now and who they are becoming. We have so much to learn from them both. I know it's tough on your own but you're doing an amazing job - they really are great kids and I'm so looking forward to see how they turn out! I'm so excited for all the transformation and evolution ahead!!!
ReplyDeletexoxox Paulina
Oh she sounds like just the ticket! So glad you are experiencing some relief xx
ReplyDeleteYou're making me miss my sister. She might be 10 years younger than I am but somehow I'm always able to be comfortable with myself around her. I do have a handful of very close friends, 2 of whom are in Australia who keepse sane & loves me for who I am too. Happy to hear you're enjoying your daily grind & that your sis will be here for awhile. :)
ReplyDeleteYour sister sounds a keeper - I wish I had a better relationship with my own sister. You are so right about having the right people around you and creating a supportive environment to make your life easier and happier again.xo You sister wrote a beautiful comment !
ReplyDeleteI am still waiting for my people to help me remember who I really am, but I have made some great improvements on my own lately. I am glad your sister is a great help. Family is important, and to have her ease the load at such a critical time is awesome. Enjoy! xox
ReplyDeleteThat is a truly joyous photo.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend. We have been friends for more than thirty years now. We don't often see each other but we email, and we talk. In both the emails and the phone calls there is a lot of laughter. Often (mostly?) at inappropriate things. I love her dearly.
I have just read your sister's comment and my shoulders have dropped some. What a lovely human to share genes and history with.
Single moms ought to be given a few days every month to do Nothing or Everything. How on earth do you manage?!
ReplyDeleteMy mom retired from teaching and put an ad in her little community paper. It said, "Retired teacher with great class control will give you 2 hours of free time from your young children. Free!"
Some mothers cried.
Trust that you will never lose your soul. It may be sitting quietly on the shelf, but trust that it is sopping up all the good stuff it needs to help you through.
Much love to you.
Breathe it in. This is the best sort of high. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteSo good to read about your happiness, and your joy that you are having with your sister! Gosh I am not sure I can answer your question!
ReplyDeleteThat is so lovely! I totally get what you mean. I moved from Melbourne to country Vic and there aren't many people here who know or get me. The "vacuum" is not a nice place to be. So pleased you have some lovely adult company to make your days brighter.
ReplyDeleteOh oh oh! I LOVE this post. It's brilliant. I only have one complaint. I have no sister and you make me want one. Desperately.
ReplyDeleteI thought this: "A time when I believed in myself. A time when I knew that I was enough. A time before I grew the barriers, which are now stopping me from being who I am meant to be." was my favorite line but the last sentence is pretty great too.
I love the accompanying photo. I am so glad you shoulders have relaxed away from your ears. That's a terrible feeling. From singular insanity to
ReplyDeleteSynchronicity - gotta love that.
This is awesome!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a cool picture! And I think it's awesome that you and your sister are that close even with a fourteen year age gap!
ReplyDeleteThis is my experience exactly. I too am a single Mum and am going through a particularly painful stage of realising that it's very difficult for me to accept that my friends (even though there are many) really do want to spend time with me and that my actions of 'giving them space' sometimes causes them hurt and upset. But when you are used to be all things to everyone and relying on no-one, changing things is difficult, but I am trying and like you sister, my eastern philosophy helps no end. To feel as you do with your sister, I return to my home town where I have a huge group of tactile, loving, accepting, down to earth, straight talking support. I don't need to try, they just know who I am and embrace it without judgement, as I do them. It'd like a holiday for my shoulders and my gritted teeth.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you have a great support network in your home town :)
ReplyDeleteI wish I had more people like my sister in my life. I'd love to have a bunch of people on rotation, coming to live with me for a time. Everything just seems so much easier with someone else in your life. Especially someone who gets you....
I love that photo! I took it last year when we went exploring in the hills....
ReplyDeleteI think the age gap has helped, because we didn't go through any of that sibling squabbling and fighting as children, even though she WAS pretty annoying as a child (at least my teenage self thought so :))
Thank you!
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's pretty cool. I love that photo, too. It really captures my sister's spirit and the way she has with my boys.
ReplyDeleteAwww, thanks! I'm glad you like it.
ReplyDeleteShe wasn't always an angel. The older she gets, the better she gets. Kind of like wine :)
I really am curious to see what sort of adults they turn into. Ones that leave home at 18, I hope! And are self-sufficient by then, too :)
ReplyDeleteWe've had our ups and downs. And I know we'll have more.
ReplyDeleteI have cut so many unsupportive and negative people from my life, so it's nice to have just one who can help, just for a while...
Oh, I wish your mother lived near me. I could use her every day from about 3 pm :)
ReplyDeleteIt is just so nice to be able to lie down for 15 minutes and know that I won't be interrupted, that someone else is in charge, if only for a bit.
That constant responsibility is draining. Or at least it seems so to me. For now....